Friday, 2 October 2015

Life's a beach!!! Or maybe just a beach themed event

For some time now I had hoped and prayed... Then prayed and hoped that these beach themed parties would go away *sigh* but alas they haven't...

Adaptation is essential for human survival so, by extension, one's wardrobe also has to adapt in order for your social life to survive.

Luckily for the guys they don't have the stress of having to figure out what to wear - they can throw on a pair of board shorts or cutoffs with a t-shirt and they're on their way. Although I've recently been so proud of men for stepping their game up!!! (check out Kings By Nature on Facebook)

For the ladies, however, it is a lot more complicated. When boredom strikes and with my admittedly sick sense of humor, I often use party photo galleries for entertainment. So under the suggestion of my cousin , I've decided to use my brain for good rather than evil and offer some BEACH PARTY WEAR GUIDELINES as it is clearly evident that there needs to be some given. So, here goes.......


What is it with every chick and their sister wearing mini skirts and bandeau tops?? Now, don't get me wrong - if accessorized correctly and with the right body type this look can be fantastic BUT you need not wear it to every party you attend. However, if you insist, try it with a statement necklace pair this with button earrings, mix the prints of the top and the skirt. WEAR A BRA under the bandeau top and pair with bangles bangles and more bangles!

Wearing a cropped top with a pair of bikini bottoms is NOT ok!!!!! It looks like you forgot your pants at home, or your boyfriend's wife walked in on you'll in the heat of passion and you were forced to make a hasty escape during which you forget your pants. In my opinion this looks grose and personally I wouldn't want to sit anywhere after you did (yuck).

Remember these parties are held during the day i.e sunlight and there is no darkness to hide the flaws every woman has e.g cellulite, stretch marks, tummy fat or that "bobo" trini slang for scars on your knee that you got when you were 6. Sally Hansen airbrush legs does a great cover up, some beauty salons offer spray tanning which gives the skin an even tone while covering imperfections and leaves you with an amazing glow OR there's always the age old theory of dressing for your age/size/shape just because it's beach themed that doesn't mean your "coochie" has to be on display!


Once your body allows it and you have the confidence feel free to go all out and rock a bikini, whole piece or monokini! Paired with a hot pair of wedges or strappy gladiator sandals, some multi-strand necklaces or a statement piece and bangles - you won't look naked or scandalous. If you're not comfy enough to rock out with your 'punks' aka vaginal area. If you're like me and very well endowed in that area (sorry that's as delicate as I can put it) try a wrap, sarong, floor length skirt, see through pants or some crisp white trousers. the latter takes your look from the Treasure Queen to Diddy's all white party in the Southampton

I LOVE TUNICS!!!! They allow you to stay on theme while covering the parts that we may not be too confident about yet. If do you decide on a tunic try one with an embellished neckline, that way there's no need for a chain just add huge earrings, bangles a hot wedge and you're set! These can be worn with a bikini beneath or a nude whole piece. Don't have a tunic? Then rock an over-sized man's shirt with a low-slung belt

*ALWAYS try to wear wedges or a stacked heel!!! It lengthens the leg and instantly makes you stand taller (in a bikini we need every little advantage we can get) nothing is cute about you dragging a pair of Old Navy slippers

Denim cut off shorts will ALWAYS be in style, they're very versatile and they can be styled up or down. Try these with a shorter length tunic, a crisp white shirt unbuttoned just enough to show the right amount of cleavage or a cropped top, just be sure to belt your waist and you're good to go!

*ACCESSORIES: This 'theme' allows for little clothing so you have to go into accessory overload: over-sized hats, statement necklaces, body jewelry, super long earrings, belly chains, cross body bags, sunglasses and, my personal favorite...bangles. These are all  VERY essential for this look. If it's a cooler fete put your bottles in a huge beach bag instead of a cooler!!!!! Its all about the accessories

Simple guidelines. It's not very hard to change your look up a bit without going into thot city. GOOD LUCK!!!!